Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
