ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
