if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
