Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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