Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
