I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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