I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize