if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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