if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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