Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

school has made you so classy.

(514): View more from Quebec

that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

ill bring the camera dont start without me

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(785): View more from Kansas

so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!

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(256): View more from Alabama

I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.

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(301): View more from Maryland

I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking

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(253): View more from Washington

Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.

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(+27): View more from South Africa

I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now

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(317): View more from Indiana

There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.

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