We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
