That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
where are my eyebrows?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
