4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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