He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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