Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
