Its about making memories worth repressing
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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