Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
