so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
