Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
