So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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