I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
