just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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