soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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