I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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