he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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