even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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