..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
