Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
