I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
