My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
