margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
