Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
too bad you live with your parents still
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
