What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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