she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
it's great music for shaving your balls
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
