My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We left the knife in your bed.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
