Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
