Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
