if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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