at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
