She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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