How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
