My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
operation harelip BJ is a go
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
