I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
