omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You're a waste of cheezeits
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize