we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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