He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
