I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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