so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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