I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
