So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
