I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I look better un-naked...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
