So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Pants are for mortals
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
