ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
