4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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