Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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