I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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