I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
