Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
