You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
