Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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