Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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