Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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