He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
