Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
