Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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