i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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