I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
