And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
