i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
