i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
