He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm always down for nudity.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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