I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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