I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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