you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize