Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
