My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
