We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
then he tried to convert me to islam
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
