I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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