when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Randomize
