Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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