Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
