Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
