so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Fuck appropriateness.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
