so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
