Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
