She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize