the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She announced her abortion via fbk
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
